The Biggest Dick in the World, from FORTY BUCKS AND A DREAM, STORIES OF LOS ANGELES (chapter 5)

"The Biggest Dick in the World," part of my collection, "Forty Bucks and a Dream, Stories of Los Angeles." A clip:

I believed my ticket to stardom would arrive in a big car soon after I arrived in Los Angeles. It did not. Nor was it in the Porsche 911 I found myself stepping into one evening, a car that belonged to a man I was told had the biggest dick in the world. Though he told me this himself, I first heard it from my sister-in-law.

            Sandra was a northern Italian girl with Gina Lollobrigida curls and a gap between her front teeth. A visual artist, she had no interest in acting but knew I did and thus alerted me to a man she had met—let’s call him Hal—who was casting a movie. Hal had told Sandra he liked her look and asked her to audition, which she did. Why, if she had no ambitions of being an actress, had she auditioned? Because she was a pretty 25 year-old to whom someone had told, “I want you in my movie.” While this might cause someone in Schenectady to scratch her head, in Hollywood, it’s axiomatic that you go.

            “I told him about you,” Sandra told me. “He wants to meet you.”

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